Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Blame it on the Pa-a-in....Yeah, Yeah...

Are you old enough for me to have gotten some Milli Vanilli stuck in your head?

It's been there all day. So much so that even humming "The Girl from Iponema" did not help. I had to have a little wiki-session with regards to Rob and Fab, you know, if you can't beat it out of your head you may as well fill it chock full of useless trivia. It doesn't make it go away, but boy does it fulfill a deep set need to find closure of some kind.

Am I alone in this? Does anyone else get obsessive about a thought to the point that they must do the Google-fu to fulfill a need they never knew they had? I mean, how else would I have ever known that A-Ha is still touring and OMG they are still cute and/or kinda (scroll all the way down) HOT!!! (Forgive me, I'm about 26 hours from hitting the big 3-5, so I feel like I get to have these crazy moments.)

Where was I? So the pain...

So I am also here to acknowledge my intrinsic masochism...or maybe it's just a massive pain threshold that surprises most people who have seen me panic to the point of whimpering at needles, or full-on cry when bonk my head... but um... yeah, you know that feeling you get when you pull a hamstring? So I'm experiencing something similar, but the pain actually starts just at the bend in my right knee and extends all the way up to just below my rib cage. Nonstop. It's been days now. Ever since the weather started doing the pseudo snow thing. Constant. No rest except for the few hours of sleep I've gotten when I'm finally too exhausted and the naproxin has kinda taken hold.

Forget daylight savings messing with me...this tops it.

Yes, before you ask, it's the same leg as is attached to the hip of hips which has been being Osteopathisized all this time. Relapse in a super bad way? I dunno. I haven't spent much time thinking about it as I'm in the throes of trying to finish my work before we close the month. (And researching failed fake bands, obviously.) And lemme tell ya, it is hard to concentrate on anything when all I can think about is just how much I can stand living with this pain before I go all Lorena Bobbit on it. I'm seeing my Doctor next week...But if I don't sleep soon I think I will be ready to cut it off. I will cut me! And I'm not all that good around knives.

See, I can only sit here and type as I am practicing my own kind of chair yoga: sitting on my right foot as I extend my knee over the edge of the chair letting gravity and my "very strong" leg muscles purposely hyper-extend the tendons in my knee cap and stretch out the muscles and things (so technical) running along the inside of my leg because damn does it feel gooooood in a baaaaad way. And now I'm seeing just how close I can get to having my right toe touch my left shoulder...as I type. Let me distract myself some more...

So about my "very strong" legs...yes indeed, my Dr. has verified that I have FREAKISHLY big muscles in my legs for a girl my height/size. Just what every gal wants to hear, I know. One of the reasons I have the superpower of being able to "carry" so much weight and only look "chubby" or a "little overweight" instead of the full on OBESE those god-awful government charts would have us labeled at is that it really is big bones and even bigger muscles.

But I guess it's better to be told that yes, those are muscles and not, oh, I dunno, fat maybe, clinging to my thighs. This means that with the proper training I probably could walk all the way to LA and back, but ha ha ha on me, I will never ever EVER fit into that magical Devil-Wears-Prada-size-four pair of anything, never.


This is me being over this concept and instead moving on towards working on a new goal. How about regaining the ability to leg press 750 lbs the way I did that summer my older brother and I spent too much time alone in the weight room at my high school, before it was my high school?* I think I was 10...maybe 11.

Oh yeah, and do you at all wonder why I am so damaged? Cuz I don't. Not really.

*Please note I am dripping with sarcasm and am not that crazy. Just maybe in a little too much pain.

1 comment:

Beth said...

Did you call the doctor about your pain? That doesn't sound good.