Friday, October 31, 2008

I Coulda Been an Awesome Manager...

Were it not for the fact that I hate people and just really want to sit in my office and do my work and not talk to anyone cuz the excitement and the thrill and the energy wipe me out before 10:30 AM...

Hi. You know that old proverb, "Be careful what you wish for?"

Not only did "Ding dong the witch is dead" run through my head on Thursday the moment I was told I would no longer have to deal with the un-deal-able any longer...but so did that little proverb, as I would no longer have to deal with the aforementioned starting yesterday...or more to the fact, starting last Friday at 11 AM...which was the last time said problem was in the office.

I think I need to notate the different stages of my manic nature...

When I first was told on Monday that I would be the representation of Accounts Payable until the real A/P guy came back from vacay, and/or trouble would return after her need for personal/emotional space, I personified the R.E.M. "I am Super, Man" song and went with the flow.

I have to say I love my department. Almost immediately people jumped in to help. Which was a very good thing because though I know HOW to cry uncle...I have a very bad habit of waiting until my arm has been twisted out of its socket and the pain has elevated me into a new state of consciousness.

Come Wednesday when we were all taking bets that I'd be all by myself for the rest of the week...I developed that headache that won't go away and is rather pressure/stress related and I was hoping maybe a physical change in pressure (rain was coming...) would make it go away...anything, god help me... It became PAINFULLY obvious to everyone around me that I could not do the job of three people even though I kept saying I was fine...maybe it was the extra gloss in my eyes? The pitch of my voice? The literal running around I did to keep up with the flow of paper? So I gave in and delegated jobs and organized and gave mini-lessons in procedure and did not keel over.

Thursday...yeah...I would have won lots of money.

Sometime near 3PM I lost it. The announcement had been made official and I no longer had a light at the end of the tunnel, cuz really, though I said I doubted her return on Wednesday, there was still that tiny bit of hope...I am a positive person after all...deep, deep, deeeeeep down.

I still have to go downstairs and apologize to the people I let it all out on...I honestly could not tell you what I said because my brain and my mouth were no longer on speaking terms...but it was some kind of cathartic because after that? After I got it all out and made it official that I was not going to keep things flowing as three people working full time in an already over-worked A/P office...the day got much better. It is amazing.

And this morning I was given the responsibility of coordinating next week...cuz you know, that is so very easy to do given it is Friday and Monday seems so very far away. Plenty of time to organize everyone AND get my work done, right? Right? Ri-i-i-i-ight.

Um, how did it get to be 11AM already? My list? you know that one I need to have all crossed off before the end of the month/week/day? Not touched...and I am supposed to leave early cuz you know, we don't want to add any more overtime to my already bulging time sheet...(well, management doesn't at any rate...I've got bills to pay...).

(Deeeeep, cleansing, breath....)

Oh well, there really is only so much I can do. It's not defeat, just admitting my own humanity.

And I have a picture to share, but it's at later.

Happy Halloween!

Monday, October 27, 2008

You Know that Joke about Schools & Prayer?

It goes something like:
"As long as there are tests, there will always be prayer in schools?"

It took more than a slow and even count to ten...more than taking a walk down to the water cooler...more than mentally screaming into a pillow--for me to calm down. Yep, I busted out the first few lines of the "Serenity " prayer...

Nope, had no idea it was still in my head...I learned it sometime while still in gradeschool, you know, about the same time as the preamble to the Declaration of Independence? It was still in there along with all the obsolete WordPerfect shortcuts, what to do with that damned cheese sandwich in the HitchHiker's Guide to the Galaxy text adventure game, the password to my never used livejournal account, my CA driver's license number, and several other bits and pieces that my narrowly-avoided temper tantrum dislodged.

The brain is an amazing machine.


'member how I said I would have to use this wee little space to rant if things did not go well?

Ya sure, you betcha.

I've been asked to be a wee bit more patient, that and everyone jumping in to help me out is the only thing that kept me from walking right out...cuz really and truly the tantrum that never blossomed was simply to keep myself from sitting right down in the middle of the office and bursting into tears. Teaching 7th grade was never this hard! Well, except for those times when I had to deal with teachers who I wanted to kill, Kill, KILL! Blood and guts and gore in my teeth!

Ahem, oops, where did that come from?

Anywho...if this makes no sense, I'm sorry, I'd rather keep it more obscure than not, you know, so I don't get fired. Unless I quit first, then boy oh boy will you get all the gory details!

Happy Monday!

Friday, October 24, 2008

Did I Even Mention These?

Aren't they fun?
I've been wearing them all day....with my vans...yes, the heal is being felted as we speak. I've decided I just can't win and la la la, not thinking about it.

So they are the ubiquitous Spring Forward socks. I made absolutely NO modifications...and they fit! HURRAY! And before anyone asks me if I lost the ball band on the yarn??? OF COURSE I's something mountain colors...maybe?

It's a rainbow in my pocket! Or rather, a rainbow on my feet. It is so gray and dismal today that I keep sneaking a peak at my feet to remind myself what color really is! And I've been showing them off to my workmates...mostly cuz I have horrible babbling disease today and cannot focus enough to ask a question as a question and then I just give up and interrupt myself and say, "Look what I did!" as I life up my pant leg and people forget all about the nonsense I was spewing and instead we speak of socks and pumpkins and rainbows and kittens and ice cream.

Or something.

Is it really only 3PM....

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

I Can't Even Come Up with a Catchy Title Today...

Dear 3 AM Mystery Caller,

I am not the future president of these United States of America. I do not need to receive any calls after 9 PM unless they is an emergency room involved or as my favorite Sicilian put it, "Death is on the line!"

Thanks to you, I am officially at the "Rum-Dummy" stage of wakefulness. You know the one 3 year-olds get into when they are avoiding their nap, fighting the good fight, and man are they about to drop? Yes 3 AM Caller, that is the gift you have given me today. And I hate you to the core of my being for it. Cuz I am also getting increasingly cranky.

And I know you are perturbed that I am using a misnomer, but "Midnight to 3AM Dumbass Crank Caller" simply does not roll off the tongue so easily.

All I can say is that favorite line of mine from back when I was about eleven, "May the fleas of a thousand camels infest your armpits!" And if it was some robo-election call gone bad because technology sucks? I hope you lose, BY A LANDSLIDE!

Sincerely Yours,
Too Damned tired to figure out a catchy name, either.

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Under the 10 Day Mark...

Gah! I swear I posted more when I was traveling!

Okay, week + in review bullet-point style:

- I tried to go shoe shopping again...when will I just give up and admit defeat? All I want is some cute black shoes that I can wear with jeans OR slacks and I'm asking for too much I know, I shall slink away now. And can someone tell me A) When did I opt for brands my mom adores (i.e. Hush Puppies, Naturalizers, little old lady shoes?) and B) my kingdom for cinderella feet... and maybe c) where did all the real non-department store-shoe stores of my youth go?

- I was thisclose to quitting on Monday. I'll only fill you in if nothing happens after all our talks and meetings and more meetings... for I will need ranting space to keep my blood pressure in check.

- Point two would be why I worked 10 hour days beginning on Thursday and THROUGH the weekend and just wasn't in the mood to sit in front of a computer in my free time. So I'm still here...and I can actually stand to sit in front of a screen cuz...

- Last Wednesday I had my eyes I received my new glasses. Yes, new frames twice in two years. No, it wasn't just cuz I now have insurance and wanted something to placate my inability to have new cute's something much grosser, and yes, I will share:

- Remember how I said I don't have acid coming off my feet/why are my socks falling apart (it's my Vans...hence the desire for new shoes, btw)? WELL...apparently among all my natural superpowers I also have the ability to corrode metal via the tops of my ears...or maybe I was possibly exerting too much energy/effort/it's called sweating people during the summer/sunny months and the finish on the ear pieces was maybe not so good and yep...CORRODED. Yes this grosses me out like you have no idea. Yes, this also explains why for the last few weeks the tops of my ears felt kinda itchy and not right.


- Moving glasses means I can actually make out your facial details down the hall/street/while driving! This is good now that we are in "All Summer In A Day" land and we're all desperate to make that eye contact so we don't kill/be killed while trying to get to work/home/the market.

- In order to avoid a George-Costanza-at-the-eye-doctor moment I made Andy come with me...that and the fact that I was not hopping a bus to/from the eye doctor made me in need of a ride. You do not want me driving when I can ONLY see far far away out of one eye (i.e. dilated). So while fully BLIND (don't you love that? Andy does not wear glasses and could not believe this is the practice of 99% of the eye doctors out there) I picked out/had Andy help me pick out glasses that actually fit and if not totally and completely, pretty much mimic my last pair, but maybe a little more cat-eyed and definitely brown instead of burgundy. Yeah, someday I'll take a picture but I'm still getting used to them and the idea of trying to take a picture and focus my eyes makes me want to hurk. (My prescription didn't change much, but with my eyes being as messed up as they are? Near-sited as well as far-sited? A little goes a long way. The doctor had a field day pulling out all sorts of tests and writing out all sorts of notes and having me look through prisms and doo dads and gee gaws...It's not everyday a case like mine comes up to Lake Forest Park, oh no... Though it does make me feel special, I would not curse my worst enemy with my eyes.)

- I really need to start getting ready for my trip down to LA...did I mention this? Week before the week of turkey day, clear your calendars! More on why I don't visit relatives during high holidays later, right now I think it's time to put my very tired eyes to bed.

Monday, October 06, 2008

Learning to Walk Between the Rain Drops

So is it just us sun-deprived folks in Seattle or are there other people out there who keep an eye on the radar and then as soon as the last raindrop has fallen bum-rush the outdoors to do their "thing" until the next weather cell moves in?

It's just us, huh, that's okay, I'm very used to be the odd man out. Ah well, at least there are pictures today.

Andy's latest obsession is para-kite flying. If that is not really what it's called, it's okay, I don't really care. It's all really just oh-god-the-kite-is-big-enough-to-lift-a man-off-the-ground, to me. Anything bigger than my 9 x 11 inch kite in he kinds of winds we see at Gasworks is a tad bit excessive, really. I mean it's cool, but come on:
This is a three meter kite. It is NOT the biggest one they sell at the kite shop. Do you see the tip of my shoe over on the left-hand side? Yeah, my job was to play dead weight. It's a job I am exceedingly good at. Given my awesome super powers, as Damage Girl (tm), there was no way I would be allowed to fly the kite, especially in the kind of winds we had:
Andy is unwinding the lines. Can you see the grass being laid flat by the um breeze?

So I didn't get either of the intense action shots of the day...I was a little busy getting out of the way for the first one as Andy was dragged into these huge cement structures right behind the launching area, greatly diminishing the amount of skin on his fingers...and my fists were too busy being balled up and up against my face so I wouldn't have to watch the landing for the second....But in between the gusts and then utter disappearance of the wind:
Andy got airborne, twice. Check out the sky. Even the kite was a bit intimidated. See how big it is? Andy is 6' 3.75" tall, so don't let his height fool you. Can you see the speck over on the left-hand side? WE WERE NOT ALONE. Three other people had kites and boy-howdy were they going to fly them!
Yes, his arms are being yanked out of their sockets. He considers this "fun."
I thought if I took enough pictures, I'd be able to present them to the authorities when he was dragged off into the lake...but the wind was blowing in the complete opposite direction...
Into the trees...

It was right after relaunching from the kite-eating tree that the wind became crazy-dangerous and there were easily four feet of NOTHING between Andy and the grass...he is TIED to the kite, mind you, so he landed somehow--no loud CRUNCH noise was heard, and he did this cool somersault maneuver and yeah...he was done for the day.

Like any boy, he wanted me to take a picture of his "war wounds" for posterity.
So yeah, about then the adventure came full circle, except Andy was maybe whimpering and limping a little as he wound the lines back up:
And I took on the job of dead weight once again:
Sexy hairdo thanks to ma' Nature.

Here is a super cool artsy shot telling us all we needed to get inside pretty darn quickly:
The rain came back full force about 20 minutes later.

Saturday, October 04, 2008

Rough and Tumble I am Not

And yet, how can I be so hard on socks?

Or is it me at all? I don't exactly keep up with any and all knit-boards/groups/lists/what have you. Has there been a big to-do about Fleece Artist sock yarn that I completely missed?

So maybe let me explain where my head is first. Here are the socks I finished back when it was still summer:
Fleece Artist Merino Sock Yarn "kit" in a lot of different colors that don't at all seem so pink in real life purchased at least 2 years ago.

Pattern - Totally made up to fit my stumpy legs: Using US2s I cast on um, was it 80 stitches? Maybe 76, I can't remember...and knit my heart out until I got somewhere near the middle of the leg. Then, instead of shaping I started switching out needles, one row at a time for US1.5s then US 1s. Yep, this kept the stockingette from making my brain ooze out of my ears from boredom. It also made me feel really smart for figuring out that you can carry a heck of alot of DPNs in one of those $.99 toothbrush tubey things.

After all the stitches were picked up and I was going to start decreasing for the gusset I switched back UP to US 2s in the same manner...then down again to do the toes.

These socks are so comfy! But they are not going to last very long at all.

I have worn them twice, TWICE, and my vans have pulled and pilled and "matted" (not quite felted) the heel flap and that bit I'd call my big toe's knuckle if toes had know, where bunions usually develop? Yeah, that bit. (I know I amaze you with all my fancy vocabulary, but you get the picture, eh?)

And yeah, the picture was taken this morning. But no matting to be seen thanks to my favorite as-seen-on-teevee purchase from the 80s! A $5 sweater shaver from Tar-jay. I think I shaved them to within an inch of their lives. This does not please.

I realized that this is my second pair of fleece artists to disappoint me in such a way. The second pair of socks I ever made myself is sitting in my sewing basket awaiting to be darned...A BASEBALL sized hole appeared in one of them after only maybe 6 wearings.

After coming to this realization that maybe this sock yarn and I are not meant to be, I had a huge sigh of relief that I haven't actually made anyone else socks out of this yarn! But then again, I've yet to hear back from anyone with regards to how any of my knitting has held up (or not) with the exception of Andy's "safari" cap (made with Lorna's Laces sock yarn). It's going to see it's fourth winter this year and really doesn't look bad at all. Granted, he's not wearing it on his feet.

I totally understand the whole "socks are meant to be used and worn out and yey I get to make more!" attitude, but dude! They should last more than a couple wearings. I don't have acid oozing out of my feet or anything...I'd think I would have noticed. And before anyone chimes in with the whole "maybe wool and you don't get along" or something similar...the "sunshine" socks I made from the Vesper sock yarn and worn much more often look a whole lot better than the "Dublin Bay"'s I made in fleece artist that might be a bit older, but not worn as often (the lace + windy winters = BAD socks for keeping warm.)

Yet another "live and learn" lesson, I guess.