Dear 3 AM Mystery Caller,
I am not the future president of these United States of America. I do not need to receive any calls after 9 PM unless they is an emergency room involved or as my favorite Sicilian put it, "Death is on the line!"
Thanks to you, I am officially at the "Rum-Dummy" stage of wakefulness. You know the one 3 year-olds get into when they are avoiding their nap, fighting the good fight, and man are they about to drop? Yes 3 AM Caller, that is the gift you have given me today. And I hate you to the core of my being for it. Cuz I am also getting increasingly cranky.
And I know you are perturbed that I am using a misnomer, but "Midnight to 3AM Dumbass Crank Caller" simply does not roll off the tongue so easily.
All I can say is that favorite line of mine from back when I was about eleven, "May the fleas of a thousand camels infest your armpits!" And if it was some robo-election call gone bad because technology sucks? I hope you lose, BY A LANDSLIDE!
Too Damned tired to figure out a catchy name, either.