Tuesday, October 21, 2008

I Can't Even Come Up with a Catchy Title Today...

Dear 3 AM Mystery Caller,

I am not the future president of these United States of America. I do not need to receive any calls after 9 PM unless they is an emergency room involved or as my favorite Sicilian put it, "Death is on the line!"

Thanks to you, I am officially at the "Rum-Dummy" stage of wakefulness. You know the one 3 year-olds get into when they are avoiding their nap, fighting the good fight, and man are they about to drop? Yes 3 AM Caller, that is the gift you have given me today. And I hate you to the core of my being for it. Cuz I am also getting increasingly cranky.

And I know you are perturbed that I am using a misnomer, but "Midnight to 3AM Dumbass Crank Caller" simply does not roll off the tongue so easily.

All I can say is that favorite line of mine from back when I was about eleven, "May the fleas of a thousand camels infest your armpits!" And if it was some robo-election call gone bad because technology sucks? I hope you lose, BY A LANDSLIDE!

Sincerely Yours,
Too Damned tired to figure out a catchy name, either.

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