The End of Days...Coming to a Mexican Theatre Near You...

So, there's all this hoopla about the latest pandemic/book of revelations/end of daze stuff (isn't it amazing how fast things go from "oh there's a flu-thing" to "OMG WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIEEEE!!!")  And even more hollerings and ponderings as to why it's started in my ancestral homeland.

So pardon me as I don my aluminum foil baseball cap but um...did we all forget the Mayan calendar/2012/end-of-the-world thing already?

Hello crackpot theory from Seattle:  This, of course, is based on the idea that back when the Mayans disappeared it was because they were a super-intelligent race which developed space flight/cool star-trekky teleportation/something similar and POOF!  Gone, in a pre-historic instant!  

So the theory goes that come the "end of the world"/calendar, they are returning to bring their forgotten brothers home (ET-style).  When my people come back in the spaceships, come December 22nd when they start taking a headcount...do you really think there'll be room for 6 billion?  I don't.

I mean, just counting the peeps who live in the D.F. (Day-Effay for full effect), that's over 20 million!  Now I'm no UFO expert, but thems a lot of peeps to stuff in the ships.  So a pandemic here, a war there, it's just what the Mayan witch doctor ordered to keep the numbers in check, or something.

Right, you all think I'm super nuts now, but need I remind you all that TWO states found me sane enough to teach children?  Buahahaha!