Wednesday, March 07, 2007

The Rain Brings Out the Best in Folk

Dear men in the white unmarked, commercial-looking truck,
Thank you.
I really did need someone to help me test out just how water/MUD-proof my shoes, socks, coat, and bag are.  Really.
Is this a service you provide on every rainy day after we've had snow and sand and dirt and stuff accumulating in the gutters?  It's always nice to be informed.
To report: 
   My shoes are fine, thank you.  Grime, mud and water haven't dampened (ha!) their spirits.
   My socks were pretty much protected by my pants, so they're only a little moist.  You'll have to try to put more speed so the wind picks up peoples' pant legs and then a good sock soaking will ensue.
   My pants?  Well, I can only say I'm thankful I was wearing black, not like the gentlemen to my right who were BOTH wearing WHITE slacks.  Later today I'll touch-up/scratch off the brown spots.  I must light a candle to the god of polyester for inspiring the makers of dress slacks to put in as much of that plastic material as possible, I'll be fine, once the muck dries. Better luck next time.
   My coat is as the pants, it'll live.
   My bag?  Well, it was my lunch bag that was hit hardest.  Plain canvas, totally sopped and mucky.  But HA!  My lunch was in a plastic bag inside the canvas, so there!
We were obviously too juicy a target for you.  All these people huddled around a bus stop, in the rain, the flash of white trousers, you just couldn't resist?  Bastards.  I hope you run out of gas.  I hope you park in a huge puddle and don't realize it and sink down to your knees when you get out of that truck.  I hope some other PNW-erner decides you look ripe for splashing yourselves!  Most of all, I think it was Robin Williams that coined the phrase, I hope this might befall you, "May the fleas of a thousand camels infest your armpits."
Slightly damp, cold, and muddy on the outside, but on FIRE on the inside, ME.

1 comment:

Bezzie said...

Ohhh...that's awful! My husband used to yell at me for slowing down when I'd pass a pedestrian in the rain in TX (the only place where it rained enough and the sewer system was substandard--thus lots of gutter pooling) as not to splash them.
He'd be the jackass driving the white truck.