If my immediate superior (whom I share an office with) were to write my yearly review, I think those would be the words he'd use to describe me.
I swore in front of him yesterday. Well, technically we sit "back to back" so maybe it was more like I swore at the wall while he was in the same room. Did I day "dam" or maybe the "s" word? Oh no. There was nothing but intense hatred and maybe a dash of malice (okay, maybe the need for hurting in there as well) as I dropped ye ol' F-bomb when I read the email that told me my work day? The one I'd already over-planned and had been counting on as I've been out (bike accident) and filling in for peeps on vacay? The LAST DAY I'd have to catch up before the month started all over again?
I got to drop everything to fill in for a sick co-worker.
I was beyond mad. It took all my 34 years of training to control my god-awful-gonna-have-a-tantrum-RIGHT NOW-temper (sexy, I know) to keep it together. I have an eye twitch and a headache instead...fun times.
Yeah, that was me focusing so hard on doing her data entry I did not turn to look at you, acknowledge your presence, or smile. Yep, that smacking sound was me tossing/dropping entered paperwork on the floor just to hear it smack. Yey for determination that had me finish the mountain of her work in an hour and a half so I might start in on my own. (And yeah, it is extra childish but that competitive nature side of me went "HA!" when I saw I entered twice as much as she did in half the time...)
When I went to Italy last year, one of the tour guides said the best way to handle Rome was to visualize yourself as a Willow and bend with the wind, cuz all the planning and phone calls and reservations could not save you from the whims of the Italian government or mentality. (i.e. always have plans b, c, and even d)
It's a philosophy I've actually adopted to my life. That and the "It's just not worth it" mentality are all that keep me going at times like this.
And now I have to run, as I have an hour and a half+ extra of my work to try to cram into this morning.