Friday, February 01, 2008

Someone is Creating Realities for Me

So...still no word...and I'm not surprised, really, not after a long telephone call from the friend in Hawai'i who was in that first snippet of scary boat/muck-filled dream.

Apparently I have lived too long away from the Islands...because I was reminded that it was furthest from silly to feel odd about speaking/writing about the supernatural with a Hawaiian. Of anyone in the world, they are in league with my culture, the line is blurry at it's darkest between the two realities, or so he said. Living in the world of numbers and logic, I tend to forget.

Back to the ethereal world? Yep, boats have trumped lost contacts... I'm still wondering about the mish-mash of the dreams it because both friend's names begin with "K"? Both have spent time on my boat? Both are very far away?

The reality? My boat is about to go on the market in a very unofficial way, and he wanted me to have first dibs...and as he said, my X never need know.

I'm posting the picture of her at her worst...for a reason...

I need to alter the way I'm thinking of the Irish Rose. She is not my boat anymore. Neither legally nor in her present physical form. This is what keeps my rational brain from saying, "screw you hippies, she's mine!" And plopping down every single penny I've saved since the big "D." I've mourned her passing as I did many people and things during that break-up.

She was my baby...but she stayed with him, and he, he changed her; altering her to fit his new lifestyle with GF and kids. Goodbye engine! Goodbye marconi rig! Goodbye and good riddance to anything that he and I had done to her because it was a new life, and god-damnit it would be a new boat...or something.

Suffice to say, she's no longer the boat I fell in love with. And even if I could get her back in the water...with no engine and no windlass (I believe he sold it) and Chinese lug sails...I'd literally be dead in the water until I figured out how to sail her all over again...or row a 15K lb. boat...7 tons. She was a big baby.

At the same time, it doesn't mean I don't still love her...but it's more of a "my baby has grown into someone I don't know anymore." I wish her well, and like a mom am making quiet inquiries to those in the boat community I know to see if anyone would be interested in giving her a good is shattering, but I just can't/won't do it.

Unless, of course I throw all reason out the window and hop a flight to Hawai'i this weekend...

I am not well, obviously.

Anyone in or near the Big Island interested in a Chinese Junk Rigged double-ended engine-less sailboat with it's own cradle, send me an email, yeah? I'll get you in touch with the right peoples.

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