Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Onions...Parfaits...Either Way, My Butt Hurts

Can I go home?

Yes, I am that dumb ass that comes in to work even when maybe having a desk-job is not the very best for a damaged hip.  But, momma needs a new pair of shoes (literally), and in this economy it's best to make sure that you are not seen as the slacker in the department who maybe should be shaved off to save a few bills, ya'know?

Where was I?


So I've been seeing this Osteopath, for Osteopathic purposes only, of course...though he has put his hands on my  backside enough for most people to say it's a committed relationship :).  But I've never been "most people."  Dr. W. is making my hip go back to where it's supposed to be, and not where it's ended up-thanks to various and sundry bike/boat/life accidents.

Today he realized one of my legs was too short because the big mass of owie (I know, I get all technical here) was actually pulling my leg up into its socket too much, which in turn was causing massive amounts of torsion and pulling and more owies when I went out and did novel things as walked!  Or climbed stairs!  I know, I am so very adventuresome. 

What he realized though, was that my last accident could not have caused this damage.  Oh no.  Apparently we are able to see through time via my buttocks to April of 2003 when I slammed my tailbone into the sole of the cabin floor whilst enroute to Hawai'i from Mexico aboard the sailing vessel Irish Rose....

Ah, memories.

Because yes, boys and girls, your damage is like an onion (or parfait if you prefer).  And in order to heal and be 100% you have to be willing to fix things layer by layer, digging deeper and deeper into very old wounds that you thought were all healed up.


They are not.  Especially as we are all prone to having old big owies slapped shut with crazy glue and duct tape M*A*S*H-style instead of going through the correct healing and doctoring procedures (who has the time, energy, patience and money!!)  and now, many years later, those old war wounds are a part of you, and maybe they shouldn't be.  

This may sound twisted...but I feel like I should really thank that guy who nearly killed me back in August...if it hadn't been for him decimating my bike and nearly running me over with his huge Ford pickup truck, I'd have never mentioned to Dr. K about the hip pain during my yearly.  She would then never have had the suggestion to recommend Dr. W as a good hip guy.  He'd have never worked on the lopsidedness or the leg stress or now the "sheering" damage that I have packed away in my derriere just asking for bursitis or arthritis to come on in and nest.

The State of Washington just sent me a form letter asking if I wanted to "pursue damages" from truck-driver-guy.  I'm a big believer in Karma, so my first instinct was "no" on the simple fact that I really would not want someone being that awful to me.  After today's appointment?  I really do feel like I'm being thanked for recycling that letter.  Not only am I getting better from the latest trauma from my body, but maybe, just maybe (if I don't find a way to damage myself some more--keep your fingers crossed) I'll be able to heal for real from stuff that's been a burden to my tired and not-old-enough-to-hurt-this-much body.


erin said...

This post is fascinating to me. My left leg is shorter than my right leg (as evidenced by the many pairs of jeans I have walked holes into on the left side only). When my hip starts to hurt, I do a yoga hip series to open things up, but it's never enough to actually get the muscles to chill out and stay in the right place. I believe the piriformis muscle is the culprit. Anywho. You have inspired me to get it looked at, it may not be a huge issue now, but it could be years in the future. (That's what I'm taking away from this post, anyway.)

Bezzie said...

YOu're so positive! And kudos for the Shrek reference!

Beth said...

"Apparently we are able to see through time via my buttocks to April of 2003..."

I know this isn't a funny post but this part really made me laugh. I'm glad you're getting this figured out!