Saturday, December 22, 2007

My Lack of Faith Disturbs Many...

I am trying so very hard to not be both too cynical or disappointed, but it is most difficult. See this:
I keep telling myself that it is not the last vestige of their existence. That their physical selves are in actuality still whining their way South and that there will be post on Monday and that my family will indeed get their gifts and goodies.

Cuz no, Virginia, the package has still not reached my folks in LA. Yep, mailed it on MONDAY. The website, and the read-out at the PO said WEDNESDAY. Hello? IT IS SATURDAY now. Priority Mail, Delivery Confirmation, AND Insurance. It's that last one I think that has screwed me. I have never ever ever used insurance for any package I've sent LA. Even the 18 sent from Hawai'i in '04.

Murphy is not my friend.

I would really rather not have to cash in the insurance. Please oh please all that is holy and unexplainable in the universe, I am begging here, do not make it so I get to see what it's like to fight the postal system for a hundred bucks! I'd really rather my family got their gifts. Really. Even if it's not until next Friday.

ETA: I'm told the "website" and PO read-out at the counter were both "estimates." If I cross my fingers any tighter I won't be able to type anymore...

My mother has become rather positive in her um "mature" years. She honestly thinks Monday will be the day (!--her emphasis). I'm ready to light a candle over here. I really wish I could be as sure as she is, unfortunately I also have a very active, dark, and NEGATIVE imagination. I blame reading Animal Farm when I was nine years old. A fairy story indeed.

Anyhow, yup, those are the hand-made stockings. I spent over three weeks of my life on them. Three very long weeks that I will never see again. But instead of dwelling on that thought, or maybe the one about some POS that has the stockings hanging in his house and/or sold the gifts for xmas meth, I will delve into some details about the stockings for you:

The dark, dreary one is for my wanna-be-a-goth little brother; best described as "very unique" by my SIL. Personally I just think he's a big weirdo, like his older sister. Long nails and black nail polish indeed. I almost gave him satanic jewelry and black eye-liner, but really, my parents had to deal with all of my shenanigans 18 years ago, why put them through it yet again? Besides, all he'd really have to do is find the box filled with things from my teen years and he'll be in wanna-be-goth heaven. I love my lil' bro, really I do, but um, I at least have the translucent skin that never required the white powder make-up. My LB? Well, um, let's just say he did not get that trait. Let's also just say that people NEVER asked my parents if he really was theirs or had they stolen him from the white folks up the street.

I thought it apropos that it be right next to my niece's OH-SO-PINK stocking. Yes, those are "princess" patches that I made myself. (I did say three weeks?) Double-faced interfacing is a god-send. Tracking down princess fabric and waiting in a line longer than anything the Apple Stores have ever seen was not the best task for one such as me when all I needed was a strip that contained the 4 princesses. (Snow White and um, Ariel maybe? are on the other side, yes, with more bells, I really liked the bells.) Instead of pulling out the scissors in my bag, though, I waited and bought way more fabric than I needed, cuz you know, with my luck? If I'd only gotten exactly what I needed bad bad things would have happened and the patches would have flailed hard core. Instead? Perfect first time around. (PS, if you get that glue stuff on whatever you're ironing on? Use the same trick as what you would for candle wax, iron a piece of paper bag over the goop, and presto, no more icky-glue stuff on your favorite towel.)

In blue was going to be a Thomas stocking for my nephew, only, I could not find the fabric. So sad. And I am not so creative as to go wild with the felt and make one from scratch...I leave that to the experts. Besides, there was, hee hee, Christmas Pooh to be had (I am twelve)! Also double-sided and yeah, more bells!

Older brother and SIL get the mixie-matchie pair. I almost really mixie-matched them by sewing the wrong pieces together...but thanks to the fact that my scissoring skills are not what they once were, one was a teensie bit bigger than the other, so the mistake/idea was shot down pretty quickly.

Okay, I'll end it here.

I'm listening to Cheech & Chong's "Santa Claus and His Ole' Lady" and all I can wonder is how all the terror laws would have changed the lyrics...but we're practicing thinking positively, so instead I'll leave you with a little Bing Crosby:


Bezzie said...

Oh man, that's a sham with the box. Good luck getting the insurance. You have to prove to them that you packed it a certain way and even then it's like pulling hen's teeth to get them to cough up the dough.

Beth said...

Merry Christmas! I hope your cute stockings are delivered tomorrow.

Anonymous said...

"The dark, dreary one is for my wanna-be-a-goth little brother; best described as "very unique" by my SIL. That must be the PC way of saying he's a big weirdo like his older sister." She has never said you are a weirdo." Your words were offensive especially after all she has done. I am also upset, since you made her feel this way.