Oh great and powerful deity that directs the Whole Foods Produce Buyer, I come before you, nay, grovel before you, if I could type at the same time I'd be on my hands and knees beseeching you with all my heart, please please please let there be an affordable, ripe avocado across the street when I get off of work today.
You see, I wouldn't be asking - nay groveling, if it weren't for the fact that every.single.time. I've gone into Whole Paycheck this ENTIRE summer, no matter what it was I was looking for? They'd be out. Be it cheese, baking yeast, fresh basil, bread, raisins, vitamin C, flax seed oil, toothpaste, that super yummy kettle corn I bought by accident that one time and have never seen again, hard cider (! I know!), you name it, if I thought I'd just pop in on my way home so that I wouldn't have to drive 20 minutes to the next nearest (and way cheaper) grocery store? HA! The universe/the other deities that take care of all those departments would bust a gut laughing so very hard at me.
So I'm taking a new tact, and if it weren't against the workplace code, I'd light a candle to you, really, I would. I just need one medium-sized avocado that isn't $5 a pop (or a lb.). Take pity on me, just this one? 'K?