Thursday, September 15, 2011

Dude! It Worked! And other Realizations

2 for $6.00.

There is no way to write that out without making my head hurt a little bit.  $3.00, each for a Whole Foods Avocado.  Cuz they are hand picked by virgins in the light of the full moon, right?  After a complex and apparently expensive Wicca ceremony?  But it was less than $5, which was my upper-end limit.  So I bought it.  I know it was a milllion years ago and the economy broke between then and now  but in my heydays of shopping the Mexican markets and getting 1 KILO of avocados for 7 pesos (that's 70 cents for 2.2 lbs in 'merican, or  32 cents/lb.) it still boggles the mind how much more I pay for one kinda small, but ripe enough, avocado, when I am desperate.

Were my father to read this he'd laugh as he went outside to pick me six or twelve of his home grown avos.  And today, unless I find a non-ovo-breaded chicken recipe I like, I'm going to have to pick up some eggs...which my mom would chuckle at as she'd point to the dozens she has in various buckets from her hens.  

Oh the things I took for granted growing up.  But this is the life I chose.  And I'm still okay with that, thankyouverymuch.  For now, at least.

And speaking about choosing?  I finally get it.  It's that old Lucy and Desi skit where she is correcting his reading English skillz, but for technologically advanced yet poorly educated (or maybe just lazy?) English speakers with no Lucy to correct them.

See, the Internet is awesome in so many ways (and yes, just as scary and full of porn, ying and yang). Coming at it as a former educator it fills my need for filling my brain with useless trivia or random knowledge.  For example, that old BBC show "Survivors" whose pilot I watched last night was based on a book written by Terry Nation (best known for the Dr. Who Daleks), and now I'm going to be on a hunt for it.  There are articles about what I can do for my high blood pressure that sure, include some old wives tales, but also suggest something as simple as Hibiscus drinks/Tea (which I drank gallons of when in Mexico and Hawaii and SURPRISE, never had an issue back then....again with the things we take for granted).  And yes, there are sometimes some copy editor mistakes that I chuckle at, but they are the same kind of oopsies you'll find in printed books/newspapers.  But that Face Place?  With the "your"s instead of "you're"s (as in your so not proofreading your posts? Cringe) or "loose" instead of "lose." 

I know, The Oatmeal has covered this, but now I get it.  You choose things but you lose things.  And I only know this because it was beaten into me via old school spelling tests (thank you Sister Julia).  But if I had not been so damaged - EDUCATED, I'd use my best guess, and if you CHOOSE things, obviously then you pronounce LOOSE the same way.  (I never said I was a QUICK former educator.  This totally came to me as I was commenting on a picture and knowing, just knowing that it was going to be misread because, yeah, it's Desi trying to read the children's book all over again.)

I stand sit here shaking both my head and fist at whomever put together the modern English language.  You make my brain hurt, sir.

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