You Know You're In the Big Time if you have a Receptionist

I've officially hit old-fashioned-ville, population, me.

Or is it just me?  It's been several years since I sought a new doctor-type person all on my own...well, with the help of the insurance website to make sure they're part of the fold, as it were, but you know what I mean.  What I've gleaned from my needs and the wonder of this experience:

• Check the address posted against the google.  I joked with my coworker that I didn't want to end up with some back-alley quack...and dude...seriously, google maps? I give you props.  You kept me from signing on to one doc. who's address, you guessed it, apparently was accessed via a back alley.  Seeing as I need to go apres work?  Which means traipsing around Seattle after DARK.  Um, I can be naive, but man oh man, mami did not raise an idiot.
• If the address is in Seattle proper, I should not be dialing long-distance.  Funny thing here?  NOT the same person with the back alley address!
• And this is where I'm sure I'm putting on the old-fashioned/back-in-my-day-airs...if you want me as a patient, you must have a receptionist.  Even if it's you putting on your receptionist hat.  You're with a patient/don't like answering your phone/you really do just have a one-man office?  There are these things called answering services! With real, live people!  Call me (or rather, no, thank you, do not call me), set in my ways, but I will not leave my number on your voicemail, especially when your message is (names changed to protect the inane  "Hi, you've reached Jane, leave me a message and I'll call you back."  Really, Jane?  Cuz I'm calling your personal voicemail?  It harkens back to my dumfounded realization that people use their sexybunny@hotmail addresses on their resumes back when I was temping for HR.  HELLO?  You are trying to get a patient!  At least fake me out by saying I've reached the offices of Fictional Physical Therapy, Inc!

So um, yeah, I'm off to see a Physical Therapist on Monday.  Is my shoulder going to kill me again?  Actually it's doing a lot better.  I won't jinx it and say we are besties, but whatever manipulation + evil injections I put it through this past December and into January, I think I turned a corner!  No one expected me to be 100% cured, but there is a distinct lack of searing pain running from shoulder to finger tips when I find myself writing up the Purchase Order Invoices or inputting Journal Entries.  I ended my agressive treatment the last week or so of January...so far so good.  I'm still working out what my "upkeep" is going to be.  Basically I need to go in once a month....maybe once every 6 weeks, to keep things cracked loose!  To remind my shoulders they are actually NOT connected to my earlobes.  To relieve a little stress in my lower back when my shoulder muscles decide that actually, they are made of rock, not flesh, and are out to torture and possibly maim me.  We cannot all have awesome relationships with our bodies, I am living proof.

So no, PT for my shoulder!  Instead I need to see a man about a foot.  A bit of a twisted foot.  Or maybe it's impact damage...I'll know more Monday afternoon.

On Thursday I went to get my yearly physical done and shock and awe, everything seems to be okay!  Except for the swollen ankle that was perturbing both my doc and me.  I'd kinda stepped funny a couple weeks earlier and the swelling would go down and stay down so long as I iced and elevated, but the pain in my heel was constant.  Then I over did it the day before running all over the office and by Wednesday night felt like the skin from my knee to my ankle was just too tight...when I sat to elevate and put some heat on it, it did not look like my leg.  It looked like my 6'4" version of me's leg.  Especially when compared to my non-swollen one.  I didn't quite freak out, but I'd never been so happy to know I was going to the doctor's the next morning.  By then my calf was a more normal me size, but the ankle?  Pretty puffy.  An x-ray or three later and nothing is broken, but PT was highly recommended, so Friday I spent ALL DAY trying to find someone.  Well, between actually working.  Fourth time's the charm.  Which leads me to one more:

• If my issue is a twisted ankle, or really a twisted ANYTHING that is causing lots and lots of pain, and I explained this first thing, to make sure we were both on the same page, and you don't have an opening in the next few days, please don't waste my time by taking ALL OF MY INFORMATION and then offering me a spot in MARCH.

I know, I am just sooooo picky.