Learning to Save Me from Myself...

Or is it myself from myself?  Me from me?  I'm sure the grammar nazi's will help me out there :).

It is February!  When did that happen?  I'm a broken record, I know, but I swear, I was just in January and that went zipping by way too fast as well.

And now February is almost a week gone!  (Well, it seems like it anyway.)

It's the J.O.B.  I feel like 2 weeks of every month are taken from me as I disappear from the world and try to keep afloat.  They are not consecutive weeks, however...and sometimes an extra week of frantic run-around is thrown in just for shits and grins...

And no, I will not be raised from this position to be dropped into something just as frantic but with better pay.  It's not official, but being in the place I am, with access to the gossip mill I do...I know they've hired someone, and that someone is definitely not me...  But really, I knew two weeks or so ago what my chances really were... and really?  I'm fine with it.  No, really.

When the news came my way it was broken with a whole bunch of reasons why that job was poopie and my job was better...  

- Such as: My current position will only get better as the "new guy" becomes the "not-new guy."

- And: That position is only good if you're planning on never getting a job outside of this industry/particular NGO seeing as you will not exactly gain "marketable" skills in US accounting.  But if I were to say, move to Kenya, yeah, I suppose that would be helpful.  

- Also: My team loves me more.

These phrases and bits of information really were kinda nice to hear.  See, me, I don't suck, that job does!  Yeah, that's it!  My job is the bestest!  Yep, sure is... Sure would hate to be that new person they hired, yessire, Bob!

And why yes, it's not even noon and there is a whole bunch of ink splotched onto my arm already, why do you ask?

I know, I know, if the sarcasm were any thicker we'd all need some windex to try to read the screen more easily.  See, I'm still learning to save me from me, after all.  I fully admit to that.  

I'm not making any proclamations here, I just know that this year marks my 35th year on this planet.  I'm not saying it needs to be a landmark year or anything...or maybe I'm just thinking back to that palm reading I had done when I was like 15...I sometimes refer back to it when I'm super not sober... MM said something big would happen in my mid-thirties...how mid can you get but 35?  And having been stuck in super-nostalgia-land (nothing forces you back there more roughly than peeps who you went to HS trying to "friend" you on Facebook) lately, I'm torn between dwelling on those years and shaking it all off and trying to, I dunno, LIVE my life now.  In the now?  For the now?

I sense change coming, now matter what...maybe so minuscule you all won't even notice...maybe so huge we will all feel the reverberations.  2009, the year of shaking off the stagnation...or something.