Dear Applicant,
Hi, I am the underpaid office slave who is in charge of routing your application.
Yes, I know, I am completely under-trained and under-qualified to judge the overwhelming skills and abilities that you have learned in school, work, and life experiences.
I may have sailed half-way across the Pacific Ocean on a 32’ sailboat, but you’ve taken “industry related” seminars to put you above and beyond my level of serfdom, I understand this.
Why then, dumb ass, after all those seminars, classes, and “work and life experiences” are you using “superfly@hostingsiteofchoice.com” as your email address ON YOUR RESUME? Or, hi, "superbootiegirl@somebizarrefreemail.com”, are you seriously shitting me here? This should not be your email of choice for your CV, dipwad!
Here’s some advice from a lowly know-nothing who does not like to be made fun of when her resume is being weighed in: Create a new email address, please. And this time? Make it boring. Use some aspect of your name! Even if this endeavor involves you using some of the Fibonacci sequence to make it all your own. Trust me it will earn you way more “street cred” than “IAMIRONMAN@timetogrowup.net,” honest.
Sincerely Yours,
Tactless Wonder
tactlesswonder [at] gmail [dot] com (NOT, by the way, the email on MY resume, but really, what do I know?)
3 comments:
HA! So true!
I enjoyed your post quite a bit! When I was looking for a job out of college, we didn't even put e-mail addresses on our resumes. Ouch! That makes me OLD!
The sad part is, that some people will read that and have absolutely no idea why this is funny. Luckily, I do. :) Hilarious.
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