Poise, Grace, and Advil

Maybe I should rename this blog Damage-Girl! It's definitely a nickname I cannot seem to shake.

So this week's adventure involves much poise and standing up straight. Maybe I'm in training to become a super-model (stop laughing). Or maybe if I refrain from moving my neck AT ALL it will STOP HURTING. I don't remember doing anything strange that would tweak it so. Notice I say "remember." I could have chosen to use the word "imagine," but we all know I have too twisted an imagination for that to be at all useful as well as G-Rated for our reading audience.

Ahem, moving on.

As I got up, BEFORE DAWN to go do my morning stretches (you would too if you had my hip) and the cagillion "scrunches" to try (in vain) to control that tummy area, I felt more than heard this little "thing" go off on my right shoulder, and now the right side of my neck and accompanying earlobe are trying to kill me. Or at least drive me stupid with pain.

I stole the Advil liquid-gels (only the smaller bottle Andy, the Costco-sized bottle has been moved to your bookshelf), and have been very good about medicating myself every 4 hours on the 4 hours... that doesn't quite sound right, but as I've still got another hour and 14 minutes until my next set of pills, I could care less about grammar at this point.

I thought I was going to DIE when I had to stick the telephone receiver "under my chin," bend over, AND move my arm in just the right fashion to pull some papers out of an envelope to read off the names over the phone. I saw stars, my eyes actually crossed, oh god, oh god, let me die, it hurt so much.

Urgh, I need to go practice looking down my nose at the computer screen so I don't keep hurting myself. I've just about perfected "drop-shoulder-dip" turn. Yes, poise and grace, though touch-typing, a swivel chair, and NOT bloody dropping my pen (again!) under the desk also help out loads.

I know I don't look anything like her (I hope), but you know what if feels like? Or maybe I just imagine myself as? That really scary Grace Jones video from the 80s, remember? She's sporting her freaky crew-cut and her head is rotating very oddly and at one point her mouth opens up extra wide... remember what I said about my imagination?

Must. Go. Find. Scary Grace Jones. Video.